Sleeping Treasure.. Forever ba ka mo???

Friendship -- in a fast-paced world we live in, have been stereotypically taken as just something that is defined as people having common likes and interests, and when those interests are over, then it’s ok to leave without notice. But there is also this type of friendship that you’ve never thought of lasting, but then you just realized how much you’ve grown together without really trying hard.

Bianca and I, though we are as normal as all the other people in the world, we’ve recently laughed about something really simple but amazing at the same time.

In June 2008, Bianca bought a pair of friendship bracelets (yes the one in the picture). She planned to give it to me on my 20^th birthday. However, we were too consumed with our Nursing Licensure Exam, taking the exam itself and then waiting for the results, that she stashed those little something and totally forgot about it. (background story, we passed the board and we are both RN’s now but took a rather different path). In our four years in the University, we have been almost inseparable, especially on the last two years, thus people seeing us still together today give us a rather sweet smile while gesturing “hey you two are still inseparable”.

Okay, so years passed by, if she remembered it correctly, she saw the bracelets again in 2010 and planned to hand it over to me, but although we see each other every once in a while (yes, there were also years in between that we have been both distant, physically and psychologically haha), she never had the chance to give the other bracelet to me, so there, the keepsakes lay hibernating in one of her drawers.

End of 2014 came, we started catching up, a lot had happened in her life, mine as well. She’s been to many places in the country, I’ve been outside for a while then lived in another city, but I’ve finally came home and since last December, we were more inseparable than we’ve ever been before. She comes to my house every week for Sunday services, we sometimes meet in the city in between weekends for a cup of coffee and a bucket of stories (which never run out, it’s amazing really haha).

So yeah, two weeks ago, the bracelets showed up. Now ready to be given, she brought it last Sunday (8/2/15), they looked very new, Bianca said so herself, “they are as if I just bought them yesterday.” Seven long years have passed, but these treasures proved it that they were worth it, meant to be given to a friendship that stood through the test of time; distance, space, emotional indifference, and economic highs and lows. Our story is a love story in itself, of sisterly and unconditional love which we do not have any intentions whatsoever to end.

Your stories may be grander than ours, and you should know better than we do. Thus, with high hopes and prayers, may this kind of friendship flourish and last for life.

To Bianca, thanks for being always there, for not giving up on this friendship, for being my sister, for loving me no matter what, and for always having my back. God Bless you...

-xoxo June <3 

Acid Reflux... Event Bummer!

Click Here!
Acid Reflux Remedy

... God, please cut-through, now!

I believe it is not a sin to admit that you are not alright. There are those days when you’re being shoved into the corner of those frustrations you try to keep away from, most days. There are just days that you feel so tired of ignoring those things and start feeling really bad about it. It’s as if it just builds up and when you cant handle it anymore, you find yourself lying on the floor with all those crap over you and you cant just manage to get up. The feeling is awful, you feel so helpless, unwanted, and all the possible negative feelings in the world your mind could think of.

Today is exceptionally crazy, I wont say Im crazy, because I am not. But I have the tendency to be depressed and I may have some unresolved issues that causes me to just break down – that I wont deny. The cure however is no longer resolving the issues (because I guess they have been resolved, but I wasn’t there when they were resolved, yeah sometimes things doesn’t make enough sense), but finding a strategy to get through those days when a trigger is pulled.

I am fixing my room and somewhat turning it into an office for a new carrier path. I had to "overhaul" the room and yes, 2 days ago I ended up sitting in the middle of a mess. I slowly began to wrap things, place them in little boxes, open boxes just to place them in yet another box. Then I grabbed hold of a brown shoe box and found a flight itinerary and a boarding pass – that was the trigger! What was it you ask? Only those who really knew me would understand this; but it was a one way ticket from Dammam Airport to MNL, handwritten on top of the ticket were Arabic characters that I swear I understood what they meant, but my, I could still hear his voice, explaining to me what was on the ticket, and what followed after, and how in split seconds I called out a name and ran towards what I call salvation – pale-faced, hands and knees shaking, heartbeats racing, and eyes that wanted to cry but they were too dry to let a single tear drop and wash away the reign of terror deep within me.

I know I have been a better person than I had been from last year. Even though that was a totally different scenario, the trigger somehow put me in a place where everything that causes me pain and fear and rejection starts to play like a youtube video in front of me.

I love God, I trust God, and you know, I really, really am seeking and asking Him to cut through this phase and just allow me to be happy for myself and for other people as well. I know He comforts, but this time, I just want this to be taken away like immediately. 

But I’m reminded of a scene in the Garden, He who had been purged in pain asked if the cup could be taken away from Him, but still remained to His resolve, that His Father’s will be done. I pray I could say that too, and really taking to heart that there is a bigger purpose for this pain, and still trusting that His ways are better than mine, and that His plans are to prosper me and not to harm me.

I don't know how to end this, but I hope to find myself tucked so securely under the shadow of His wings .

This is a very unconventional thing to be written in the blog, but for those who have read it, I hope to write to you again, with a lighter countenance, and with something that you could benefit from.

love lots,

June

...do I love HIM enough?

Hi I am Jessica, June's friend, and Jake's Girl<space>friend. I intended to put the space so as not to be misinterpreted. You know June, but who am I and Jake?

I am not going to write a whole biography of myself and of our lives here, but I want to let all of you know something very important that we tend to overlook everyday, in our search for the true meaning of LOVE and of loving someone.

Take note of how I labeled myself in relation to Jake in the beginning. He might or might not know about this, but here's a little secret, I love him. Yes, I do. I may not have the guts to tell him that because I'm a girl, or because I think he's too insensitive to notice, thus I've kept my silence. It's not like having a secret crush on someone so random; we actually share a lot of things in common, I am one of his bestfriends and we exchange stories, stuffs, and moments. We've gone through quite a lot already actually but I need not write them in details here because that isn't my main point. I just want to make a solid reference on what I am about to share with you (or the opposite of it) about loving.

As a Christian, I haven't been perfect, and oftentimes I wonder if my life would be something God will be proud of in the end. Although not until these past few months when I started to get a little bit deeper in the ministry. About Jake, of course I love him still, but as Naomi instructed Ruth in Ruth 3, "Wait, my daughter, until you find out what happens. For the man will not rest until the matter is settled today." I sort of vowed to let God handle it all for me. And so as I wait, I allowed myself to get busy with His business and with the opportunities that He is allowing me to have.

But then there are days that are really difficult. My faith seems to be nowhere to be found anywhere inside me, no matter how I pray, no matter how long I read, no matter how busy I let myself be, everything just seems to be an infinity of waiting for something I am not sure if it ever existed. That's just faith dying. Why would it die? Why would something that went through a lot already, something that taught me so much already, just die?

Then, that still small voice inside me finally spoke up (or was finally audible). "Do you really love God?" Almost automatically, my response was "Yes! of course I do!", It didn't end there, a follow-up question came a few days after. "Do you love HIM enough?" I didn't answer. I can't answer. I was consumed with deep thirst and longing for the love that I so complacently took for granted, thinking I was already doing enough for God - but it dawned on me, I wasn't. No, don't think that God is requiring so much from me (from us) for it to be called love. But something bothered me so much that made me realized I should be doing more. A question (series of questions) ran through my head, touching my heart as I contemplate, "Am I excited to spend time with God as I am to even go out of my way to steal some time with Jake?" "Have I been so joyful to wrap myself and my obedience to Him than wrapping a present for Jake on holidays?" "Did I ever become depressed because I haven't read my Bible and hear from God like I would when Jake fails to communicate?" 

It was endless, I broke out and cried bitterly, because I could never answer a confident "YES" to those questions, worst my answers were NO or SOMETIMES. 

The problem isn't about faith, nor about God, not even Jake. It is me, I have God always, He placed that faith inside me so no one could steal it, and He even gave me Jake, but the problem with me is displacement. I have rearranged the order of things in my life to fit my standards and my routine, I have placed my faith in the wrong priorities. I forgot that it should always be about God first. That it should be "Shining our light so our good deeds will be seen" and not "bragging on our good deeds so we will shine." It is about loving God till we overflow with it so we could love others truly. It is about doing good to others just because you just want to bless them, and not because you'd want something in exchange. 

It is all about waiting for God's answers, keeping the faith, heeding the Spirit's guidance, and fixing our eyes on Jesus. He knows our hearts and our desires, He hears our prayers, and in the appointed time, and when we are ready, He will always be faithful to show us what He had in stored for us.

"We can ask with the assurance that HE will answer -- though perhaps not according to our timetable." - Julie Ackerman Link (from odb.org)      

- Love, Jessica

'Even when it hurts...'

So it is the 2nd of February... and since yesterday, the social media is flooded with heart-shaped "whatevers", sweet exchanges, and of course, let's not neglect the scent of pain commonly characterized by the hashtag "#bitter". It's crazy but it's as if depression just automatically hits you like a flu virus and your down!

Oh well, this is definitely the most-excruciating month for those who have been feeling hurt, alone, pained, and broken; and I believe there's nothing wrong with expressing it, at least they (okay...WE) are honest about how and what we feel. However, I think it would be fabulous if there was a way we could go around that feeling and possess a more positive outlook -- no, no, not to mask grief, but to make it bearable, and who knows, it might become the strategy to totally get over that pain, move on and just be happy about February.

Although I am a Christian (a Pastor's kid at that), it's not as easy as grabbing my Bible and landing my fingers at a verse that would ease the feeling. Opening my Bible's really hard at these moments. (Hey! don't hit backspace yet! I won't give you a sermon, I promise I have something beautiful for you below :) ). So yeah, I pray, I tell God what I feel, then I scan through some familiar verses that I know. My favorite's Proverbs 3:5 and 6  which says,

"Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart and lean not on your own understanding;

in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your path straight."

Believe me, sometimes that doesn't make sense, but I just read it over and over again until it does. :)

My favorite author said in one of his novels:

"We're not meant to understand it all the time;

sometimes, we just have to have faith."

- Landon Carter (A Walk to Remember by Nicholas Sparks)

You can start with that, and just try to let it flow. You may also start thinking about the day when you'll be laughing reminiscing how you are today.

I would like to share with you a song that's really gonna change how you feel right now. It is called "Steady My Heart" by Kari Jobe. It's not new, and I bet if you've already listened to it before, you've fallen in love with it too.

(you may play it through the playlist below, where I included some of really good picks too)

"...even when it hurts, even when it's hard, even when it all just falls apart; I will run to You, 'cause I know that You are, LOVER OF MY SOUL, HEALER OF MY SCARS, You Steady My Heart..."

Enjoy! Let's shake all those bad vibes off! 

- xoxo June :) <3

What About Love?

Today I will be talking about marriage. A disclaimer before everything else, Bianca and I are two single ladies, so basically I'm no marriage guru or anything, however, I'll be talking about something plain and simple, idealistic and realistic, sure and indisputable fact about marriage - LOVE.

You see, no matter what idea we may have about getting married to a person, whether it may be for security, a good life, companionship, and whatever your imagination could possibly think of right now, there's always that one key element that makes these ideals work - yes, you're right, of course love. There is no need to discriminate one from the other just because you disagree with their thought about marriage, because as long as you love, as long as they love each other, it will always work.

Why? What about love? We constantly hear that it is never an emotion or a feeling, but rather a sense of responsibility of one to the other. Let me add to that, a sense of unprejudiced nor forced responsibility of one person towards his/her spouse in a give and take manner (never one-sided). 

However vague people's representation of love is that we find it difficult to understand and practice to make our own marriages (well, relationships) work, here's a clear instruction that will always keep you on the right track.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8New International Version (NIV)

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 

5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 

6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 

7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

(from Biblegateway.com)

Stereotypical? You be the judge, whether you believe in God or not (but I hope you certainly do), reading and living through your life in a love relationship that is based on what is written in Corinthians, nothing will ever go wrong. Yes it sure is too ideal, but come to think of it, it's instructions are simple and natural, like you need not posses anything magical just to live a life like that.

As what I have told you, I'm no genius in this, I believe nobody ever is, but if we just all strive to live our lives worthy of all the love known to this world, that would be really great. And of course, guaranteed, we will always fails; in one time or another, you will have big bang arguments with your spouses, but I'm pretty sure things will be fixed when we all go back to what love really is all about, what your marriage is all about. 

And if you are still not sure about it, start with 1 Corinthians 13:4-8.

- xoxo June -